Is Daniel LaRusso the Most Hated Man in the World?

I was 9 years old when The Karate Kid was released in theaters. I loved it. My father took me on opening night and I saw it 2 other times in the theater. I think Elizabeth Shue was my first crush. I remember the crowd cheering when Daniel crane kicked that fucking prick Johnny, snapping his head back, thus winning the championship. The Karate Kid epitomizes "crowd-pleasing." It's a completely memorable movie and much like everyone else my age I can quote the movie up and down.

However after watching it one night my freshman year of college I had a different outlook. I laughed more. A lot more. By the time Daniel flipped out and threw his bike in the dumpster ("I hate this friggin' bike") we were on the floor in hysterics. When Miyagi got drunk, the chopsticks & the fly, anytime Daniel got beat up, the music, "Just like grape" we cracked up...the list goes on and on.

I suppose this happens- we grow out of our adolescent loves and see how much we've grown. Of course one could argue my laughing at a poor kid getting picked on and beaten up shows my immaturity but that's besides the point. And anyone who knows me could tell you that anyway. The point is through the tears (of laughter) I discovered something- Daniel LaRusso may be the most hated man in the world. Yes I said world, but I'll get to that. Maybe hate is a strong word and maybe all of the so called "bad guys" are just misunderstood. Maybe Daniel is just an insufferable little shit who instills a rage in the people he meets whereby they whip his ass. Take Johnny for example. One could argue that Johnny was a bully. But one could also argue he was just sticking up for his girl. Some punk from "The Dirty" (new jersey for you westcoasters- thank you jason) was trying to get my woman, I'd kick some ass too. Especially for Elizabeth Shue. Let me rephrase- I'd try to kick some ass. Accomplishing would be another story.

But that was how it started. Daniel tried to nicely help a girl from being taunted and humiliated by her boyfriend and his got his ASS HANDED TO HIM. Even his new friends ditched him. In fact when he bumped into them next they gave us the title of the movie in dialogue form "hey Karate Kid, got any cool moves?" Then one of Johnny's buddies- a fellow Cobra Kai student- went after Daniel in soccer tryouts. Daniel got a nice punch in but got kicked out of the tryout claiming that the school "sucked" and causing Allie to do her cheerleading routine half-heartedly as she watched him walk away. This fight caused the Cobra kai to try and kill Daniel. In the dark of night, on their motorcycles, versus Daniel's bicycle (see the symbolism here) they ran him off the road, down a steep hill, sending him flipping along until he smashed his head on a rock or something. It was after this that much hilarity ensued when he threw his "friggin" bike out and yelled at his mother about how much the place "sucked" for him (there's that word again). I think Daniel was projecting his anger on his mother, and his poor bike, over his inability to win over the girl and not be able to handle himself against the thuggish Cobra Kai. Maybe he's the problem, not the place. I mean it is California after all.

Miyagi had overheard the fight between Daniel and his mother and we know this because he poked his head out of his apartment after they left and stared contemplatively. I wonder if he thought Daniel was projecting too. Oh well, who knows, on to the next ass-kicking for Daniel.

At this point, one would think Daniel had learned his lesson, but no. He went to the Halloween dance dressed as a shower, thanks to Miyagi, and even got Allie to dance with him in the shower. Keep in mind he had a great, private place to make his move but the sadomasochist in him prevailed. Not only did he soak Johnny with water but he ruined a perfectly good joint that Johnny had been rolling. By the way, if Johnny smoked pot I doubt he'd be picking fights with people, but I digress. So Daniel inevitably gets chased out of the dance, all to an appropriately written pop song called "No Shelter." The Cobra Kai catch his sorry ass and take turns demonstrating their karate skills on Daniel's face and body. Johnny is ready for the kill strike but one of his Cobra Kai-ians stops him. "He's had enough." Johnny disagrees. "The enemy deserves no mercy!" This was the tipping point for me. "The enemy." "No mercy." Johnny really does want to kill him. And he would've if it weren't for a super slow moving old man from Okinawa who saves Daniel's ass. After this we the audience, along with Daniel, are schooled by Mr Miyagi. We learned lots of ways to fix up the house, wax our cars (in the literal sense) and how to get stinking drunk (the funniest part of the movie), but sadly there are no more beatings. Miyagi takes Daniel to the Cobra Kai Dojo to face his attackers. He quickly realizes they are not welcome there and that the Cobra Kai Sensei, now, also hates Daniel. For no other reason than- well I'm not sure. Because he's a wuss maybe? No, because Miyagi beat up his students who were beating up Daniel. So everyone hates everyone. But Miyagi smoothly arranges a "hands off" policy for Daniel while he prepares for the tournament. Which brings me to...? Yup. The tournament.

Everyone remembers the tournament. "Put 'em in a bodybag-yeeeaaahhhhh." It's classic. The best song in the movie- "You're the Best" is set to a montage of Daniel beating opponent after opponent. Then- "Sweep the leg." At this point Johnny is confused and expresses concern. Where the motivation for that comes from I don't know. On his own terms Johnny wanted to fucking kill this kid but once his Sensei tells him to "sweep the leg" he's all concerned about Daniel. Any-who he sweeps the leg, Miyagi performs some magic on Daniel and then he cranes kicks Johnny in the face and wins. It doesn't happen that quickly but it's close. Hurray. Everyone loves Daniel now, I mean it is high school so people are easily swayed. Annnnnnnnd movie over. Everyone loves him- Johnny, the Cobra kai gang, even his old "new" friends- there's even a freeze frame goddamnit! They don't end sad movies about hated characters with freeze frames! So why is Daniel the most hated man in the World not just California? Duh the sequel.

This kid travels across the fucking global to Miyagi's homeland and what does he do there? Hooks up with a girl which pisses another guy off and he and Miyagi are practically chased out of the country. A) How is this different than the first Karate Kid and B) Didn’t this little shit learn his lesson? I suppose it’s slightly different than the first one, I mean they gave Miyagi a love interest. This time though, they literally try to kill Daniel because his last fight is on a little island where only the winner comes off. The crowd even played little hand drums. That is serious shit. My favorite part is when the Father of the bad guy (kid in this case and yeah I forget his name) comes around to be on Daniel’s side. First of, didn’t the Father “raise” him? He probably raised him to be an asshole so who the hell does he think he is turning his back on his shitty son for some little non-lesson-learning puissant from California (formerly New jersey)? As we all know Daniel survives and even has a cute little moment where he honks the bad guys nose instead of killing him. What happened to the bloodlust of the crowd by the way? They were beating drums and everything. No crowd in a Jean Claude Van Damme movie would let that happen! P.S. I love that Daniel’s girlfriend is face face (hahaha) on the ground, cold-cocked and not moving. I don’t maybe it’s me but that added a whole level of humor to the whole thing. P.P.S. Wouldn’t it be great- for movie-going shock value alone- to have Daniel get killed in the end? Imagine the dead silence in the theater is Daniel was beaten to death, the bad guy leaves the island and we FADE TO BLACK. That would be sweet.

I haven’t the second Karate Kid in more years than I can count and really didn’t give a shit when the third one came lout. If I remember correctly the Sensei from the first movie comes back with an angry friend to get Daniel. They really lost steam for that one. They should’ve had Daniel be a drunk who forgot his karate skills and has to have Miyagi’s grandson teach him the way again after Miyagi is killed in a fight at a classic car rally and Daniel wants to avenge his death. But that’s just me.

Ralph Macchio thought better of starring in the 4th Karate Kid, convienently titled The Next Karate Kid, so they hired a Million Dollar Baby before she was a Million Dollar Baby, Ms Hilary Swank, Chad Lowe's ex-wife. I don’t even think I saw this one. What’s the point?

All right so maybe I overshot with most hated in the world, I mean there's plenty of other people to hate but let me ask you this; Have you ever moved somewhere or left the country and had people want to see you DEAD? I hope not. In the end, I suppose the lesson is if some greasy faced, obnoxious little punk from New Jersey one day, be nice to him because chances are some half-in-the-grave, slow moving old man from Okinawa may teach him how to fight and he could humiliate you in front of all your friends. Oh and steal your hot girlfriend.

Please enjoy:

I found this a few months ago and it seems like the perfect time to share it.

This video was directed by none other than William Zabka, aka Johnny Lawrence. Try and spot some of the cameos.